After 3 years of social awkwardness, bad first impressions and not enough alcohol, I’m finally leaving this country. It’s about damn time, since nothing arose from this city but regret, sleeplessness and forgetting who I was. Also for the majority of my time here I was really ugly. Basically unapproachable. I paid more attention to the happiness of citizens of “Lavender” (the town I governed in Animal Crossing) than my skin, haircut and clothing (combined).
This truly is a new beginning. Well, I’m still human garbage, but I now have the luxury of being attractive, confident and witty human garbage. All it took was a demanding grandmother, too many shopping sprees and self-introspection. And a lot of alcohol too.
But before I leave, I have to thank those who have been kind to me. These people truly should abandon me because I’m nothing but a hot, drunk mess who occasionally doesn’t start fights and says mean things to gingers, but they still manage to be curious enough to wonder what are the inner workings of a madman like me. They are, in contrast to me, angels. I’ll never stop loving them: they’re too adorable to unlikeable.